Project Confidence: Accepting What You Can't Change

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Recently I had a few weeks off work, during which I started to feel quite a bit better about myself in terms of my personality and confidence levels. However, since going back I have found that I have been comparing myself to others quite a bit which is never a good thing.
For the longest time, I have always wanted to be a certain type of person and it has only been recently that I have actually started to actively do something about it. That being said, I have realised that changes I want to make can be classified into three different categories.

100-Day Resolutions

I realised the other day that today, Tuesday 23^rd September, marks 100 days until January 1^st 2015! I was quite excited and also thought that it might be a good idea to create a goal to work towards during the last 100 days of the year, as we all know how much I love my goals!

The next 100 days will be quite insane for me, what with Blogtober (publishing a blog post everyday throughout October), heading straight into NaNoWriMo (writing 50,000 words of a novel during November) and then possibly doing Blogmas (the blogger’s version of Vlogmas – another month of posting daily). Plus there will be the birth of my nephew, two other birthdays, my relationship anniversary and Christmas to contend with over the next 100 days so even without the challenges I will be setting myself, I’m going to be quite busy.

So why am I setting myself some 100-day goals?

Project Confidence: Why I Need It

First of all, I cannot believe that my first Project Confidence post was 3 weeks ago! I honestly have no idea where all of that time as disappeared to, it's a bit scary actually.

That being said, today I was struck with a pretty hefty job that made me wish I had started Project Confidence months ago. A few weeks ago, my boss arranged for me to be in today's management meeting to discuss something I have been working on recently. I had completely forgotten about it until he reminded me a few hours beforehand. Since I knew what I was going to be discussing fairly well, I decided not to practise, instead deciding I would 'wing it'. Ultimately, if someone asks you to speak about something you have created then you usually feel confident to do so, which is how I was feeling before the meeting.

My heart stuttered slightly when I set foot in the meeting room and I saw that instead of there being five managers (which is how many I had been led to believe would be attending), I was greeted by 9 managers. I was a little taken aback at first but as the meeting began, I relaxed and found that I wasn't actually nervous. After all, I was just sitting with people.

And then the coordinator passed the meeting over to me.

Project Confidence: Being a Lady in a "Man's" Job

I don’t know what I would class myself as; I wouldn’t say I’m a feminine girl but I also wouldn’t say I’m a tomboy. I’m not gawky but then I’m not dainty. I’m not refined but I’m not impolite. I am ME. And at the moment, I’m not OK with that.

As part of Project Confidence, I have been thinking a lot lately about who I am and who I want to be. While I have a rough idea of some of the characteristics that I want to display and some of the characteristics that I possess but want to abolish, I don’t have a clear idea in my head about who I want to be: I think that may come later as I learn more about myself. That being said, I definitely want to express my feminine side. However I face one major problem:

MY JOB.

Project Confidence: What is it?

Shopping for me is a bit of a hit-and-miss experience. Sometimes when I go, I’ll love everything I try on and I’ll want to buy it all because it makes me look great. It might cinch my waist, elongate my legs or plump my butt: it’ll give the illusion that I have the figure of which I dream.

However, most of the time I go, I leave empty-handed, disappointed and self-conscious.