Thursday, 11 September 2014

Is there such a thing as being too nice?

I had been planning on writing a post touching on some of the reasons for my upcoming move on Saturday but events at work have caused me to think.
I had an incident today where someone asked me to help them with something which turned into me actually doing it for them. They said they would help in a few minutes when they weren’t busy but never actually came to help me, leading me to think about kindness and being taken for granted, which made me wonder: is there such a thing as being too nice?

I grew up thinking that it is respectful and basic manners to offer someone a helping hand. Whether they accept it or not the thought is there. However, recenly at work I have been questioning whether this is something that just gets taken advantage of as it seems that there aren’t many people who would go above and beyond to help someone.
One of the people who has similar beliefs as me is my best friend. I work with him and he is a lovely, lovely person but sometimes I wonder if he is too kind for his own good.
If someone asks him where something is, he won’t just tell them where it is but he will take them to it. If someone tells him something about their lives, he doesn’t just listen but he remembers. If someone asks him for help, he doesn’t just do the minimum but ensures they are completely satisfied before he leaves. This all demonstrates how much of a lovely person he is but at the same time, each time he helps someone he loses time in his shift to be able to do everything that he needs to do, which means he can sometimes stay for an hour after he was meant to go home as he has jobs to finish. I can honestly say that I don’t know a lot of people who would go to similar extents as he would. I find that most people are unfortunately a lot more selfish.
For example, when did it become acceptable to ask someone to do something for you, instead of with you?
If I am struggling with something I always try to ask for help instead of asking for someone to do it for me because they way I see it, if I don’t like doing something, why should I pass that unlikeable task onto someone else?
And when did it become acceptable to speak over someone?
This is something I find happens quite a lot in my life. I’m not the loudest person and maybe I don’t have the best stories but my thoughts are still valid and my opinions still matter. So why do people feel the need to speak over me in almost every conversation I have? Is it because I am too nice and therefore let them do it for fear of upsetting them if I don’t quieten?
Ultimately I think the number of genuinely nice people in the world is decreasing and more and more people are taking advantage of nice people, like my best friend, without giving as much – if anything – back in return which, in my humble opinion, is never the fault of the nice person but rather a fault of the person on the receiving end of the kindness.
If someone helps you, reciprocate it by offering them a similar level of help next time or doing something sweet for them like buying them a cup of tea to say thank you or simply remembering it until they actually need help.
Don’t make them not want to help others but rather show them that you appreciate it and that they are not too nice, nor are they too nice for their own good.
- Taisie ♥

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