Friday, 10 October 2014

Project Confidence: Accepting What You Can't Change

Recently I had a few weeks off work, during which I started to feel quite a bit better about myself in terms of my personality and confidence levels. However, since going back I have found that I have been comparing myself to others quite a bit which is never a good thing.
For the longest time, I have always wanted to be a certain type of person and it has only been recently that I have actually started to actively do something about it. That being said, I have realised that changes I want to make can be classified into three different categories.

  1. Things I will never be able to change. These are the innate characteristics/aspects that I am never going to be able to change about myself: my height, my broad shoulders and my wide hips. These are all things that, being honest, I wish I could change. In an ideal world, I would be about 4 inches shorter with slimmer shoulders and a more defined waist. However, I am not in that ideal world so my height and shoulders are something I will have to learn to accept.
  2. Things I can change but need upkeep. I don’t like my natural hair. The colour is a bit blah and the natural style is very Hermione Granger in Harry Potter #1 - it is quite frizzy and very all over the place. However, I can change these characteristics temporarily. I can (and do) dye my hair, plus I can either style my hair up or use heat on it to tame a lot of the frizz. It’s not ideal to constantly have to do my hair but ultimately, it makes me feel more confident to dye and style it so it is a small price to pay. Another example of this type of change is my skin. I am quite lucky in that I don’t tend to break out anymore, however I still have quite bad skin if I don’t properly remove my makeup, cleanse and moisturise my skin. However, cleansing my face properly means that even when I don’t wear makeup, my skin doesn't look too bad as long as I maintain my skincare routine.
  3. Things I can change that will become permanent. So this one is a little trickier as sometimes we have to constantly work towards maintaing a change, such as losing weight (keeping it off) and adopting a healthier lifestyle. Being such a chocoholic, I will always want to eat lots and lots of chocolate so cutting down on it to have a healthier lifestyle will always be a conscious effort for me. However, there are some changes that will become permanent and I will no longer have to think about them once I have implemented them, such as correcting my posture or thinking before I speak. Yes, it will involve a lot of work initially but as soon as I have put in all of that effort, hopefully the changes will be permanent.
I think it is important to determine which category each change I want to make will be in so I can know the characteristics about myself that I will have to accept, the ones I will have to work on during the short-term and the ones I will have to work towards for probably the rest of my life.
The next step for me is thinking about category one, thinking about everything that I want to change about myself but can’t and how I am going to deal with that.
- Taisie ♥

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